As part of my continuing mission to try new things, so far this year I’ve been to a tarot reading, floated in a sensory deprivation tank, and created my own perfume. Early in August, I attended not only my first Menopause Café, but the first one held in Horsham, the town I work in.
What’s a Menopause Café?
First held in Scotland in 2017, Menopause Cafes are now hosted all over the world. The idea came about through a need for a space for discussion within communities. A place for those who experience and are impacted by perimenopause and menopause to come together and chat about their symptoms, thoughts and feelings, and to establish a sense of togetherness.
Publicity regarding perimenopause has increased hugely in the UK during the last few years, partly due to some celebrities championing the cause, and more research being done to determine how those experiencing it can be better served by the healthcare system. With the level of support available varying hugely, community among those with lived experience is proving key to finding solutions, and Horsham’s Primary Care Network was asked to act.
Why attend a Menopause Café?
I’m 36, and have been terrified of perimenopause for several years already. There are two key reasons for this – I witnessed my Mum’s experience of it, and it seemed deeply unpleasant; hormone replacement therapy (HRT) isn’t an option for me, due to the type of tumour I’ve had. I’ve gone back and forth with doing some reading and research, and wanting to back off from the topic altogether.
However, there’s another side of the perimenopause experience for me. As a personal trainer, I often work with clients who are in perimenopause, and want to know how better to manage their symptoms. I, as a coach, also want to know how I can help them during their PT sessions. Whilst I’m not qualified to advise medically, understanding the impact of symptoms and ensuring that clients can still participate is important to me, so I take it upon myself to learn as much as I can. A Menopause Café seemed like it could help me in my professional and personal lives…
What happened at the Menopause Café?
I joined the group at one of my favourite venues in Horsham’s town centre, Chococo, and was pleased to catch up with a couple of people I already knew. Tess, who was one of the coaches who originally helped with my fitness journey was there, as was another Learn to Run alumnus!
We sat down in small groups, with discussion topics available on the tables, but for the most part, the people I met with were very happy to share their experiences in free form. I got a huge amount out of listening to these people, and am incredibly grateful for how willingly they shared their thoughts.
The vast majority of people I met were very open-minded, appreciating that HRT isn’t for everyone, and that there are many reasons why you may or may not want to use it. There were conversations about the emotional impact of perimenopause, and how other factors within our lives (such as caring responsibilities for those older and younger than us) come into play.
I heard about people having success with the use of supplements such as magnesium and vitamin D to manage certain symptoms, as well as adopting lifestyle changes. Adjustments to nutrition and hydration, and – joy of joys – those who had taken up strength training and found it useful. It was clear that other people were experiencing a helpful sense of validation through learning that they weren’t alone in the symptoms they’d noticed, which was lovely to observe.
Supporters are welcome too
It escaped nobody’s notice that there was a man present, supporting his partner in attending. Throughout my lifetime, it has become pretty normal in our culture for men to attend ante natal appointments, and be present at the birth of babies, but they still tend not to engage with any other conversations around women’s health unless it is their profession. So it was incredibly heartening to see one ringing the changes, and I hope that more follow in his footsteps.
Hopeful is a great way to summarise how I felt when I left. I was unsure of what to expect from this experience, and I still have quite a lot of fear over this thing that my body will at some point do which is totally out of my control. But I’m also marginally more optimistic that I won’t have to give up altogether due to HRT not being an option for me. There’s more to explore with this one…
You can find out the date of the next Horsham Menopause Cafe here